Flames
by Tropicwhale
Summary: ArtemisFowlYugioh crossover, Slash Artemis attempts to steal weapons from Kaiba, why? who knows. Kaiba attempts to stop him. Who will win? And more importantly, whose side is Mokuba on, anyway? update upcoming, I promise
1. Interest

To My first flamer Othello Dante:

Your friendship has meant much to me this past year, this story is for you

Happy Anniversity (Thought I forget did you? Well I did, I think it was around this time last year we started being penpals, thanks for yelling at me about Spoiling Opal Deception for you)

Seto Kaiba/Artemis Fowl

crossover Artemis/Kaiba (that means slash or yaoi, folks) unbeta-ed

Disclaimer: I own Kaiba-chan and Arty. Butler and Roland show up with many, many lawyers I do I DO IS pulled away in straight-jacket MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA JOKER IS MY FATHER and the moony rises at noooooonnn

REAL DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the clothes on my back.

Change of view: Intials of viewpoint

Ex: AF: Artemis Fowl

Rated and genred because of Kaiba's and Artemis' mouths/senses of humors.

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Artemis Fowl was in Dominio City on business. KaibaCorp used to be leading edge with military technology. Then suddenly the old CEO died, leaving his adopted son, Seto Kaiba,to take over and turned the company into a gaming company. ARGHH! Did that punk realize how much miltary technology was worth on the black market? Enough for Artemis Fowl to buy the "Mona Lisa" and The Hope Diamond. Fowl would bet anything that the brat had put the weaponary into storage somewhere, the only problem was where? Artemis would have to access Kaiba's files, then slowly export the weapons without drawing attendion. Fowl already set up an alias for being in Japan, he was to stay as part of a foreign exchange program, already a girl, Anzu Mazaki, had already been shipped to Fowl Manor. Artemis was already settled into his new 'room', which was pink and very dancerish. Artemis shuddered, if Trouble or Holly saw where he was now, they'd laugh. Sometimes it was a good thing all his friends lived underground. Artemis glanced at Butler, the Eurasian gaint was completely neutral, thank whatever deity did _that_. Artemis sighed and set up his laptop on the tidy pink desk. Pink. Scrap the 'thank the deity' comment. As far as the sixteen year old Fowl was concerned they were even.

"It is very pink" Bulter said without any infliction in his voice.

"Bulter?"

"Yes, Artemis?"

"Be quiet" Artemis tapped several keys, then "Please"

"What are you attempting to do, Artemis?"

"Hack into Kaiba's databanks from remote, although I fear that it will not work."

"Then, why try?"

"Minimum risk" Bulter nodded, Artemis was anything if not practical

"So, if this doesn't work, what then?"

"I will have to infiltrate Kaiba manor, and hack Kaiba's own computer."

"Fun"

"Pricisely" Bulter checked his watch

"Artemis, it's time for bed, you do have school tomarrow."

"No"

"Kaiba should be there. Maybe start a friendship?"

"No, statatically the people that would mostly likely steal from you or kill you is someone close, especially if a person appears out of the blue." Bulter exhaled through his nostrils "Sucks to work for a genius, isn't it?"

"Ah, but never boring Artemis, never boring" Bulter smiled at his charge "But, bed, anyway, or do you want to blow your alias?"

"Sometimes I wonder if you do that on purpose."

"Do what on purpose, Artemis?"

"Never mind" Artemis carefully took of his tailored suit and into blue pinstripped pajamas.

"I'll be on the sofa, Artemis." Artemis nodded and crawled under the pink covers. Pink. Was it because of his criminal past that he was punished this way? It was for the money, it was for the money. Bulter chuckled silently at his employer in that frilly pink bed. Oh screw it, he could resist one last barb for the night, couldn't he? No. "Good-night, Artemis, my little _Huntress_" And Butler ducked out of the room before a pink floral pillow hit the doorjam.

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Seto Kaiba performed his weekly dianogsic on KaibaCorp's computers. Ever since that stupid Sigfreind's(spelling?) virus that nearly wipely the companies database, Seto had upped his security. A red alert popped up. Some hacker. Probably after Kaiba's card strategies. He traced the hacker's path, the orgin was blocked and routed through at least three dozen computers, that would be childsplay to find but what were they after? Why are they after the location of Gurzoburo's weapon caches? Okay, Big 5 wannabe, lets see where you are. Kaiba traced the connection all the way to the end. The computer that the hacker used was registered under an Artemis Fowl. Fowl lived in Ireland. But the signel came from Anzu Mazaki's house. What the fuck? Seto pulled up the geeks' school's website. Sure enough a foreign exchange program was being conducted. Artmeis Fowl was trading places with Anzu Mazaki for the rest of the term. Interesting. And the night he settles in, Artemis decides to hack KaibaCorp's computer main frame searching for weapon caches. _Very _Interesting. What could he possibly be looking for? Well, the website says his first day of school is tomarrow, maybe it would be worth actually showing up?

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chappie 1 end

Artemis: I would just like to say, I am athesist, i don't believe in karma or deities of any kind

Tropic: You believed in fairies before you met them

Artemis: That was because of the gold. If God was worth money, I kidnap him too.

Tropic: That's blasphemy. Artemis' smiles Artemis Fowl sometimes I wonder about you. hands his leash to Othello

Othello: mwhahahahaha

Artemis: how did this happen again?

Tropic: I cheat at poker better than you.

Artemis: okay.

Review away


	2. Sizing up the Compedition

Chapter two

disclaimer: see chapter one

flamers? Reviews? I will respond to every single one

Othello? Sweetie you rock.

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"Class?" CLASS!" silence "We have new student today, Artemis Fowl. Fowl-san, would you like to tell us about yourself?"

(の教師ありがとう、私の名前はArtemis の家禽である、私はアイルランド及び国際的な芸術の盗人から"ある The class laughed at that. Artemis smiled inwardly "Not really but my family is indepentantly wealthy and the old joke is we used to be art thieves or criminals in general. My father's companies are all above ground of course. This is Bulter" Artemis pointed to the giant "His family has watched over mine for how many generations, Bulter?"

"At least twelve, Artemis"

"Right, he is my bodygaurd, as my family does have enemies that are not above kidnapping me. Any questions?" A girl raised her hand "Yes?"

"Does everyone in your country talk with that gorgeous accent?"

Artemis faked a blush "Yes" She and several other girls giggled. Jounuchi Katsuya rolled his eyes,

"Another arrogant rich-boy"

"But with a twist, he has Ryou's accent" Honda responded, Ryou blushed

"Honda-san, shut-up!" Artemis caught the whispers

"Where are you from?" he asked Ryou.

"England, Kent actually. My mother was British, my father is Japanese. They met in Egypt, on an archeology dig. We lived in Kent 'til my mother passed from cancer, father moved us back to Japan. What about you?"

"Fowl Manor has been around for centuries. A little outside of Dublin"

#"Barking Irishman"

""Don't be acting the maggot," Artemis smirked, which surprised Bulter as he thought Artemis didn't even know slang.

"Oh, you think your smart do ya? Ya size queen slag"

"Size queen, eh? Fleck off, ya shook gobdaw, go get scalped or something."

"What're they talking about?" Jounchi asked Moto Yugi, the little guy shrugged. Artemis glanced at them.

"He's not the fulling shillin' is he?"

"No, but loyal, wait to meet Kaiba-san, he'll try and take ya ta school." Ryou replied laughing.

"I'd like to see him try. I'll give him his medicine." Suddenly Artemis switched to English "What do he look like?"

Ryou followed the Irshman's cue "Tall, blue eyes, brown hair, don't follow uniform codes. Why lookin' for someone?"

"him"

"Ah, your going to have to fight Jou there to get to him. "

"Ah, pashed is he?"#

"Oh, yes. It's amusing actually. The Fowls, hmm? Our fathers have worked together. Back before your dad got all straight."

"On what?"

"That tomb heist a couple of years back"

"Ah, yes the Topaz Necklace of Bast. Worth three grand on the black market, if I remember correctly"

"Your right. And if rumor is right, why are you here?"

"To steal weapons"

"But I thought you dealt in art ever since your father returned?"

"I do"

"Then why...?" Artemis just smiled. "We have much to talk about, Fowl."

"That we do, Bakura Ryou, that we do" The rest of the class was clueless. The teacher took a second to regain her composure. After all she didn't understand what the two boys were talking about. She taught math not English.

"Well, yes, I'm sure we all will have a lot of fun this term." Just then Seto Kaiba walked in. Artemis glanced at him. Blue eyes, brown hair, white version of the blue uniform. Seto Kaiba in turn looked at him. Blue eyes, black hair, paler than pale. Didn't look like much. Artemis smiled his slow smile. He saw what was running through the elder boy's head. Fowl demostrated that he wouldn't be taken lightly. Seto narrowed his eyes intently. So, this was Artemis Fowl? Seto was about to have _a lot_ of fun.

"Seto Kaiba I presume?" He spoke in English, he knew it was rude but if Kaiba didn't even know English, Artemis' job would be soo much easier.

"Yes, and you must be Artemis Fowl"

"I am"

"The next time you hack into my systems be a little less tacky about it, hmm?"

"My apologies, Kaiba-san, clearly I have underestimated you."

"Yes you have. What are you doing here, Fowl." a statement.

"Wanted to _see_ you." Kaiba's eyes widened and blushed slightly

"What?" Artemis smiled again, and this time Kaiba's lips tightened around the edges, but the rest of him stayed arrogant.

"You" Artemis stepped closer to the CEO "Are" another step "Much" another step "More interesting" He was within an inch of Kaiba "Than I previously thought, Kaiba-san" He lowered his eyes, making it look like he was promising things he wasn't. Kaiba's eyes widened. Artemis laughed, and returned to his seat. Bulter stood in a corner.

(Thank-you teacher, My name is Artemis Fowl and I am an international art thief) _AN: Basically Artemis is fluent in Japanese and showing off. Everything else will be 'translated' to english._

I've no clue to Bakura Ryou's real story is, that and I want him to be less loserique

#Crazy Irishman

Don't be foolish

Smartass, you're a homowhore who likes large dicks

Oh really? Fuck off, you crazy idiot, go cut your hair short or something

"He's not very "there mentally" is he?

No, but he's better than Kaiba, wait 'til you meet _him,_ he'll destroy you

Let him try, I'll wipe the floor with him...

Crushing on Kaiba is he?#


	3. Birds and Bees

chapter 3:

Dear Othello (yes there will be a ref to Othello in every chappie because the she the reason I wrote the damned thing),

I looked up an Irish/Brit slang website. I thought it important that Fowl knew some slang to make it look like he was "just a normal kid" instead of the super-genius he really is, part of his alias, mon amour. Ryou is just _too British_, besides it was a fast way of connecting the two 'verses. Malik will appear, maybe... MWHAHAHAHAHahAHAHAHA. I don't know if Bulter would be allowed on school grounds. I know he's not at Artemis' real school and he didn't really serve a purpose there except make the teacher nervous. Maybe he went because he didn't want to make Anzu's parents nervous?

**Bold is telepathy (the yamis)**

**_Disclaimer _**(sort of) :All points of view represented are plot developments, flames stemming from these shall be mirror-forced back to flamer. My clothes are mine, nothing else.

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"dammit" Seto Kaiba continued to trash his room

"Big brother? Are you okay?" Mokuba asked through the door

"No, but it's nothing you can help me with." Seto opened the door. Mokie stared at him from beneath that mop of black hair "Don't worry, little brother, I can handle it" Seto smiled tersely, "I think" he mumbled. Mokuba stepped inside the trashed room, and shut the door. The maids were going to have a field day when they saw this mess.

"Does this have anything to do with Artemis Fowl?"

"How did you-"

"Just because you refuse to be friends with Yugi and the gang doesn't mean I can't be."

"They're-"

"Nice people, Seto. They teach me morals and how to be a kid. You know slightly irresponible but cute? Which reminds me, I wanna go to the movies, money please"

"But what happened to the money I gave you-"

"Last week? Allowance, now"

"Not last week, two days ago, Friday."

"Spent it, advance please"

"But-"

"Do you like Jou or what?" Too aburpt a subject change

"What?"

"DO. YOU. LIKE. JOUNCHI KATSUYA?"

"no"

"Then stop leading him on."

"What! I am NOT leading the mutt on. What is he a masochist?"

"No, but he _is_ crushing on you."

"Uh why?"

"How the hell should I know? I'm like only 13. And straight. You're good looks maybe?" Mokuba shrugged _Sometimes I wonder if I'm the elder brother. Seto is soo naive sometimes_. Seto sat on the bed, well, sort of. He missed and ended up on the floor. And he didn't noticed. _I bet he never even thought that boys could like other boys. And he's the biggest fag I know. Next to Pegagus. _"Should I give you the Facts of Life talk, brother?" Seto started.

"What?"

"You do know guys can like guys, as well as girls, Right? Homosexuality is possible, Seto."

"I-I know" The elder Kaiba continued to stare at nothing. _Okay, new tactic_

"Personally I prefer two chicks get it on, but that is my option." No reaction "Kaiiiba? Seeetoo? You in there, bro?"

"yeah" Mokuba sat in front of his brother.

"what's amatter? The fact that it's Jou?"

"no"

"Are you gay?"

"I...am not sure"

"Seto?"

"What could they see in me? My money?"

"What?"

"You just told me the mutt has a crush on me. Artemis Fowl sort of hit on me today."

"My brother, popular with the boys. I am soo happy."

"uh?"

"It's okay, big brother. I'm sure Rowl was just messing with you."

"Fowl"

"Whatever."

"Mokuba?"

"Yeah?"

"I make have met my intelligentual and scheming match...My better"

"Oh" Mokuba blinked "Well, I guess you have to marry him then"

"Mokuba?"

"Yes, big brother?"

"go eat shit"

"No thanks, I'm not hungry" Seto smiled

"Smartass"

"Oh, you definately are."

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Artemis paced back and forth on the pink carpet. Bulter watched passively, counting. He was at 27 cycles of the pace. 28. "Your going to wear a track in that poor girl's carpet."

"Yup, serves her right too. Evil pink carpet."

"Pink is going to be the off-color joke that isn't going to go away this fanfic, isn't it?"

"That and it's the author's dig at Anzu."

"Right. So why are you pacing anyway?"

"Kaiba is not how I expected him to be"

"What? Better looking?" Artemis looked at him funny.

"No, more naive"

"Naivety is a weakness you can exploit, Artemis."

"Yes, I know." 31 cycles of the pacing

"So why the pacing?" Bulter asked, Artemis stopped and looked at him.

"Because I'm not sure if I should, or can." Artemis said, frightened. He shook his head, continuing his pacing "Ridiculous conscious." Butler smirked. "I need an alternate form of manipulation."

"It could be worst."

"How?"

"You could fall in love with the boy. Or he with you. That would be a _disaster_."

"Love? Bulter, are you feeling alright?"

"Yes, Artemis"

"Fowls do not fall in love"

"Yes, they do. Your father did, and his father. And-"

"Okay, Okay, I get it. Stop in the name of all that is unsacremented." Artemis put his hands to his ears.

"Yes, Artemis. But, evenually we will have The Talk"

"I already know about sex, Bulter"

"No, the Love talk" Artemis covered his ears quickly

"AH my virgin ears" he deadpanned. Bulter laughed.


	4. Stolen

chapter 4

Mooooo

Got Othello?

Moooooo

And now a random plot bunny from your and my muse, Serendipity.

I had orginally wrote this at the end of chapter 3 but it didn't post.

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Ryou sat on his bed reading Crime and Punishment by: Fyodor Dostoevsky. He might as well, with Fowl in town. He had to get all his boring school work done so he could enjoy the show. **Why do you care about watching? Unless you have a werid fetish I don't know about. **Bakura said.

**Yami, you found Fowl just as...interesting as I did.**

**Interesting? You just want to-**

**Shush, Yami. Besides we can do anything. What about Malik? **

**In Eygpt. Fowl is here. **

**So matter of convenience.**  
**Oh hell yeah **

Someone hammered on the door. Ryou stood, shaking out his hair and limbs"hello?" Malik looked up from his feet and his smile was full of sex. "Malik! What are-" Malik smashed his lips into Ryou's. Ryou pulled away back into the apartment. Malik followed. "Wh-wait, Malik, why _are _you here?"

"I missed you, Ryou."

"OH!" Ryou stumbled back until he was flushed against the sofa's armrest. Malik leaned his body into Ryou, folding himself between his legs. He hand slid under the albino's shirt and up the planes of his stomach.

"Sooo" Those hands slithered around Ryou's waist, up the spine causing him to shiver and grab Malik's arms "where are they?"

"Where are what?" Yay! Ryou still could speak with those hands slipping down his pants.

"The Necklace of Bast and the Crown of Ptah. Where are they?" Malik whispered into Ryou's ear as his hands glided further down Ryou's ass. He fingered his entrance.

"Ohh!" Ryou threw his head back, arcing into the Egyptian, spreading his legs.

"You little slut." Malik chuckled. Ryou's eyes rolled back in his head and nodded, grabbing handfulls of Malik's shirt. "Want more?"

"Yess, pleassse, oh Malik" Malik breathed on Ryou's nipples through his shirt, hardening them.

"Then where are the artifacts?"

"Bakura only steals magical artifacts, Malik, you know that" Ryou tried to grind into the blonde, but Malik stayed a little to far out of his reach. Malik's one hand that wasn't playing with Ryou's ass came up and stroked a nipple.

"You're lying" The Eypgtian whispered.

"Nooo." Ryou humped again, wrapping his legs around Malik's waist. Malik's groin, however, stayed a hair's breathe away from Ryou's. Malik removed his hands, and removed Ryou's legs, causing the Brit to fall on the couch. Ishtar rode him down, his hands wrapped around Ryou's throat.

"Liar" Malik's voice was no longer the audio sex toy that had been playing Ryou like a well tuned violin a moment before. Now it was harsh and angry. "You stole the Necklace and the Crown. Now where are they? I won't ask again!"

"I'm telling the truth Malik! I don't know! My father and a few friends stole the Necklace years ago, but I know nothing about the Crown. Bakura and I both went straight, at least in thieving. If I knew anything I would have told you. "

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Okay. If you hear anything contact me." Malik stood up, straightening his clothes.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

"Back to Eygpt"

"But, what about the sex?"

"No, sex, not until we're eighteen, remember?"

"You spit"

"No" Malik opened the door and glanced back "I swallow" And he was gone.

Tropic


	5. Back to the Story

Flames: Chapter 5

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programmed fanfiction brought to you by Tropicwhale

in association Unleash your Imagination and free your soul

dedicated to Othello Dante

Disclaimer: I own nothing, no lawsuits or flames please.

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"I like eggs" Jou said happily "And egg salad sandwiches" He bit into his sandwich, the gang shook their heads.

"Jou? Do you ever think about anything besides food?" Otogi asked, flipping his hair behind his shoulder, if Ryou didn't know any better, he could have sworn the Dice Master was flirting with the blonde.

**Well of course he is, baka! He's been obsessed with Jounochi for several months now.** Bakura growled in his head. **Where the fuck have you been?**

**Being buggered by Malik had me slightly distracted. You know he has a biiiiig dick and just having it up-**

**Show off. I really should have let you helped me defeat Pharoah. You have such a dark side. It's kind of sexy.**

**Duh**

"Ummmm, sex." Jounchi grinned.

"Yeah and a certain billonaire with a hard-on for winning?" Honda gibbed.

"Shuddap!" Katsuya blushed deep red. Otogi frowned at the pointy-haired moron. "I do not think about Pegegus. At all. Ever."

"That wasn't the billionaire I was talking about" Honda nudged and pointed to the cafeteria doors, where Seto Kaiba just walked in. "I was thinking a little younger." Jou blushed harder and took a bite of his sandwich, whose egg salad filling went shooting out the back and into Yugi's face. Jounochi starting apologizing as Yugi wiped his face clean and Ryou, Honda, and Otogi howled with laughter.

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Artemis walked into the cafeteria, alone. Apparently the principal of the school could not be bribed or suckered with thinly veiled threats into letting Butler stay by his charge's side. That sucked, big time. Bakura stood and waved at him. Artemis nodded at his fellow thief and started walking toward him, but stopped as he pulled even with Kaiba's table. He leaned over the billionaire. "Hello Kaiba-boy." He whispered. Seto stiffened visually. "Missed me?"

"I don't know what your up too, Fowl, but believe me, I will stop you."

"Your pretty when your flustered." Artemis grinned at him, sitting down across from him.

"Go away."

"Invite me into your house and I might." Fowl removed his foot from his shoe.

"No, vampire."

"More Fae than vampire lately. I'll find another way, Seto, believe me I will. And it will be so much easier then just let me in." Artemis ran his foot up the inside of Kaiba's leg. "Now. Rather." Artemis slummed in his chair. "Later. Or maybe _later_ would be better for the both of us?" His foot massaged Kaiba's crotch, the Japanese boy's organ reacted to the attention and to Fowl's lowered voice. Artemis, of course, felt the fruits of his labor and blessed (or is that cursed?) Kaiba with his slow smile. Seto clenched his fists against the table and glared back at the other blue eyed boy.

"Stop that!"

"Ummm, no." Artemis smirk grew. "You find me fascinating, you know, and I will use that to my advantage." That stopped Kaiba from being distracted by Fowl's foot.

"I did some research on you."

"Really?" Artemis was politely interested. After all the conversation was about himself.

"It seems you are an expert thief who is never this straight forward. So you either meet you match with me or you're _not_ Artemis Fowl. Which is it?" The businessman said. Artemis smiled.

"Your human, Kaiba. No human has ever gotten the better of me. Your little toys are… decent, I _will_ give you that. I'm better, it would be childsplay to hack into your systems and retrieve the files I want. After all I am on a time schedule. But, if I do not toe the line with this, and do not do it properly," Artemis gestured open handedly toward Kaiba. "Give you a supporting chance one might say, my friend Holly would beat me three ways to Tuesday. So would Butler, come to think of it, which means I would have to fire him, the first in twelve generations. Breaking tradition and leading to that suicide thing, whatyoucallit?" Artemis knew exactly what he was talking about and smirked to show it.

"Hara-kiri" Kaiba growled. "Baka"

"Ah yes, slipped my mind."

"Somehow I think that nothing ever slips _your_ mind, Fowl."

"True, so true." Artemis stood and started walking toward Bakura and his friends, but then stopped. "Kaiba, how about dinner tomorrow night, strictly business, my treat? You choose the place." Seto narrowed his eyes.

"Fine."

"A minimum of three people, unless you want to invite someone else."

"Three?"

"You, Butler, and I."

"Not trusting?" Fowl gave him a tight smile.

"If you were me, would you be? Call Anzu's house. I'll be there. Bye Kaiba-chan." And the thief walked away.

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"WHAT the HELL was that!" Jou asked. That Irish boy was talking and _smirking_ at _his _Kaiba. Artemis sat down at the table, shrugging.

"Kaiba-san and I have a business arrangement. A game, if you will."

"A game? What kind?" Honda asked. "Yugi could win it." Yugi's eyes went glazed for a second, probably talking to the Pharaoh.

"I don't think I would want to, Honda."

"It's true." Ryou said. "My father used to play it back in England. It's the type of game when you're rich and have a lot of time on your hands."

"Not to mention strategy." Artemis said. "It's almost like chess, capture the flag and a treasure hunt."

"Really?" Yugi looked interested.

"Yes Kaiba has to protect what I have to steal."

"That sounds hard." Honda said "Kaiba's smart, he would probably move whatever it is if you got close."

"Really?"

"He'll cheat." Jou said. "Especially if he has something to lose from it."

"So I need a Libra." Artemis leaned back.

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"Yugi Motou is a World Champion with games with strategy, like Duel Monsters. He had only lost three games, one to Kaiba, a Duel Champion in his own right, one to Pegasus, the originator of Duel Monsters and once to a man named Dartz, all three of them cheated, and in a rematch, Motou defeated him. If there is anyway to beat Kaiba and find the weapons ask him." Butler said. Artemis nodded as he pulled on his uniform that morning.

"You look into his company, the entire thing, past, present and future goals. I want to know everything about Kaiba, most likely he'll use strategies build up from the ones he used in the past."

"Of course, Artemis. Have a good day at school. Don't show off to much." Artemis glowered his friend.

"Do I ever?"

"Ask Miss Short." Artemis' scowl deepened.

"Butler, go procreate unilaterally." Butler laughed pushing Artemis out the door.

"No thanks, Artemis, I'll wait until you're legal." With that he shut the door in Artemis' face.

Fowl still blushed at the mere memory of that morning. Ryou caught the faint coloring on the other thief's face and nudged him. Artemis snapped out of the flashback forcibly. "What's a libla?" Jounochi asked

"Lib_ra_, a balance." Honda supplied. "A distraction for the distraction."

"Something simple." Yugi said. "If your plan is too complex, Kaiba will see right through it."

"A smoke screen?" Ryou asked.

"Yes but the main attack cannot come from behind the distraction." Yugi said. "Use whatever your plan B is first then use plan A."

"A blank…hmm. Motou-san, one day you and I have to play chess." Artemis said. Yugi smiled. "You are an esteemed strategist, Motou-san. Are the rumors true?"

"Of course they're true!" Jounochi said. "Undefeated! Yeah!"

"Not what I heard." Artemis said. "I heard he was defeated three times against cheaters. If he was truly undefeated I would have less respect for him. A winner who loses the minor things has lessons that he can use in the greater battles of life."

"That is very wise, Fowl." Ryou said.

"Yes, my friend, Holly, is very wise. Not that I would tell her that. She's incorrigible as it is." The boys laughed as the bell rang.

"See you all after school at Grandpa's shop. You can come too Artemis, see if we can help you against Kaiba." Yugi said.

"Thank you, Motou-san." Artemis bowed. "It would be an honor." And they went to their separate classes.

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Tropic: Hiya, here it is, long time coming, heh?

Fae- another word for fairies. Also called the Fair Folk, Little Folk, and the People. Artemis is hinting at his connection to fairies.

In the UK and in Asia it is improper to use first names with people you don't know well or aren't friends. Artemis is trying to mess with Kaiba. He does it again calling him "Kaiba-boy" and "Kaiba-chan", names Pegasus called Seto to imply that he is superior to the young business man, unwittingly Artemis is doing the same thing. Later at the dinner he will throw Kaiba more off by wearing skimpy leather pants! Woo-hoo.


	6. Leather and Deals

Flames: Chapter 6

To my sweet Othello (thanks for offering to beat up my Aries for me, believe me if he hurts me, I'm going to be the first one to beat his ass from here to Russia and back again the other way).

Here it is folks! Artemis Fowl in leather pants, don't we all wish Coffer had him in them in the series?

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"I really don't think I should be wearing these." Artemis said, looking into the full length mirror. He was wearing a blue silk oxford shirt and black leather pants.

"Probably." Butler leaned back in the desk chair. _He_ was wearing his tailored black shirt and tan suit. He straightened his black silk tie. "I'm just surprised I was able to talk you into them."

"Yes. How _did_ that happen?"

"Your subconscious urges to look sexy in front of me?"

"You know, I _am _under aged Butler." Artemis glared at Butler's reflection. The real Eurasian man smirked back at his charge.

"So that kiss on the plane was…what exactly, Artemis, gratitude?" Butler allowed his eyes to travel down Artemis' backside as the Irishman blushed. "I am merely exploiting that little _fun_ moment of weakness." Artemis turned to look at his bodyguard. "Very much what you are doing with Kaiba-san in those-" Butler pointed at Fowl's crotch "very leather pants. You would not be able to throw him off more if you had decided to wear your mother's evening wear and lipstick. Come here." Butler sighed. Artemis obeyed and kneeled in front of him. Butler took mousse and styled Artemis' hair into spikes. "If you're wearing those pornographic trousers, you _are_ going to go in the full outfit." Butler held Artemis' head still as the big man applied eyeliner. "Come on, Arty, let's go rob them blind." Artemis smiled. They stood, grabbed their coats, and walked out to the waiting rented limo.

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"Why am I taking _you_ again?" Seto asked his little brother. Mokuba straightened his shirt.

"Because I threatened to spent tonight eating nothing but sugar and play in your rooms if you didn't."

"Cheeky little bastard." Seto turned to Roland, his bodyguard. "Is the limo ready?"

"Of course Mr. Kaiba."

"Good. Come on."

The Kaibas walked into the restaurant looking for their table. They didn't have to look for long. Artemis lounged in his chair, listening intently to what his bodyguard was saying and sipping some tea. The young Fowl caught sight of the three men and stood, smirking. "Holy shiiit!" Mokuba said. "He's pretty! He's Artemis Fowl, big brother?"

"Yes." Seto managed to choke out, not even realizing his brother cussed. Artemis was wear (of course) black leather pants tight enough that they looked painted on and Seto could tell the Irishman was not wearing underwear. Roland made a noise in the back of his throat that sounded like a moan. Overtop those murderous pants was a silk shirt that matched Artemis' eyes, and a sleeveless tailored leather trench coat. His bodyguard, Butler, wore and tan and black suit that was also looked tailored. His hair was spiked and he wore black eyeliner making his eyes more brilliant. The two Kaibas and Roland moved to sit at the table. Artemis smirked knowingly as he sat down as well.

"What?" The Irishman leaned back in his chair. Seto snapped out of his staring.

"Going clubbing later, Fowl?"

"No, why?" Artemis raised his eyebrows. Seto shook his head.

"Nothing, just curious." Mokuba snorted into his water.

"Nice safe, big brother." Mokuba whispered, then started coughing. Roland pounded the younger male on the back. "Sorry wrong pipe."

"Kaiba-_san_, I didn't know you were into that sort of thing." Artemis' bodygaurd choked, probably covering up a snicker.

"I'm not he's my little brother, Mokuba." Seto growled, the nerve of Fowl! Implying he was into-gross!

"Ah yes, Mokuba." Artemis smiled, "I have heard so much about him. Your brother does not allow the media to touch you, it seems, Mokuba-san."

"Yes, he wants me to have a "normal" life whatever that means."

"Hmm, sounds like my mother and Butler."

"What is will that? I happen to like being the Vice President of KaibaCorp! Hell, I do most of the work! I am the one that schedules the press releases and interviews."

"So you are, ultimately, the reason all those poor reporters went into mental health institutes?" Fowl smiled.

"Hmm, yeah! Some of them had to join AA too."

"Ah-yes, I forgot about those."

"Yes. Big Brother scares everyone not used to him shitless"

"Mokuba! Language!" Seto admonished.

"Sorry, Seto."

"Kaiba-san. What do you recommend to eat." Artemis stared into Seto's eyes, smirking. Seto's nerves jumped and his mouth felt dry.

"Anything really," Seto cleared his throat. "The head chef is adequate."

"Adequate!" Mokuba snorted. "He's a five star chef trained in pastry, French, Italian, German, Indian, and Asian. He is one of the best."

"Ah, so your brother is hard to please?"

"Why do you think he's single?" Mokuba returned. Seto buried his head in his hands while Butler and Roland excused themselves from the table.

"Our chaperones are gone." Fowl observed. Kaiba gulped.

"Yeah, but they were the ones who could order us alcohol!" Mokuba said

The waitress had come and gone with their food. Kaiba was silent through most of the meal as Mokuba prattled on to an intently listening Fowl. Roland and Butler finally returned to pick up Mokuba for his bedtime. "Bye Artemis! Good-bye Big Brother!" Mokuba hugged his brother and kissed Artemis on the cheek. He walked behind Fowl to wink at Seto. When the three extra wheels finally left the restaurant Artemis turned to the young businessman "Well, your brother is certainly an enthusiastic conversationalist."

"Conversationalist, right. Hyper talker you mean. He thinks he is amusing. He talked your ear off." The waitress hand Artemis the bill. He looked at it and handed her cash. She nodded and walked away

"No he did not. He was very informative."

"What _are_ you doing here, Fowl?"

"I do not have the slightest idea what you are talking about, Kaiba-san."

"Asking me for dinner, wearing that_ outfit,_ and I use that term loosely, talking my brother up, stay away from my company, Fowl, I know that is all you are after, you are just like all the others."

"Really? Where these others as frank as I am with you?"

"Yes they were. What are you doing looking into my step-father's weapon caches?"

"Hmm, sharp and pretty. Tell you what Kaiba-san, let's make this into a game. From what Yugi Motou and his friends tell me, you are quite _fond_ of them. I am a thief, but lately the only things I have been stealing are masterpiece paintings that I then donate under an alias to art galleries worldwide. There is of course another catch. I steal only from other thieves. Your father was a murderer and a thief. Of course you know this; I am planning on stealing his weapons to buy a scepter that is currently in Russia."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I don't want to catch you off guard. My friends back home would dismember me. You

protect the weapon caches. When I steal them by the end of the school's spring semester, you own me a favor or forfeit if you prefer. It would hardly matter as I will win. I always do."

"Fine, but when _I _win you own me a forfeit _or a favor if you prefer_." Kaiba growled. "And no outside help from any one, especially Motou and his pathetic friends."

"Ahh but you have to be in school every day. Roland and Butler shall be our proxies during school hours."

"Fine. Why do I have to be in school?"

"Because I have to. Butler and Mother would kill me if I skipped for nefarious purposes. You know, Kaiba-san, you maybe fun to screw over. Everyone else I have got up against has been… dismal disappointments." Kaiba narrowed his eyes, what did Fowl mean by that? Artemis held out his hand. "Do we have a deal?"

"We have a deal." They shook on it. Then Artemis swooped down to kiss Seto's palm. Kaiba glared as the slightly younger boy.

"You brother's kiss back, Seto." Fowl stood and walked out. Artemis taken his coat off during the meal, and now he carried it over his arm, leaving his leather encased rear for all to see. And boy, did Seto Kaiba see and, grudgingly admitted, enjoyed.

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Uh oh the plot thickens or is it thinning? I am really not sure because I have no plot line. Don't you just _love_ sultry Irishmen? I know I do! You gotta ask how am I going to mak this a consensual slash, because Arty is, well, pushy. Chapter 7: Artemis plays chess with the pharaoh and everyone favorite Egyptian makes another appearance. Jou growls a little and Mokuba is a little brat, whose side is that kid on anyway? Ciao for now!


End file.
